Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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