So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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