i was born a porn star she said
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
