Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
