He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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