hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So vagazzling was a success
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
