then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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