The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
