I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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