Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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