I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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