Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
