So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
