I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
