Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
