No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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