i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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