I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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