just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
