I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have surprise drugs for everyone
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
