That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
