So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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