You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She even gives head with a lisp.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
