yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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