i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
