So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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