Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
