so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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