gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
