Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
