She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
