I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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