She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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