it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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