I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
