dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
