do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
