Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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