I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
