u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
