I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
