You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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