i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
