Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Is it because I queefed?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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