Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
