He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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