Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
