don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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