last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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