I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
