Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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