So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
