Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
